a bird in hand? why not two in the bush?

Growing up, the one thing I always wanted was wrapped in a four lettered word. MORE.  I was one of those kids who simply never settled for less. Or even settled at all.(talk about a metaphorical hyperactivity disorder)  I always believed that there was always something better; even when it felt like it was the best. But somehow, society taught me otherwise. Wanting more was being selfish, ungrateful and an over achiever. So I guess it was only appropriate that the two most recurring proverbs all through my childhood were the grass being greener on the other side and that bird in hand being better than the two in the bush one. Serves to say, my life was a paradox. Wanting the bird in my hand but still wanting that green grass. (I later learned the proverb about not having your cake and eating it.)Well, this is not about the proverbs I learned in my childhood. But I was thinking....

What is so bad with letting go of that bird in your hand if it is not feeding you right? What if that bird is the wrong bird and all having it is doing is killing you and who you are really meant to be? Should we stay in relationships that are mediocre simply because we think that we won’t be able to find anything better? To be ‘loved’ the way we truly deserve? (Do we even ever think about the kind of love that we truly deserve?) Should we stay in jobs that force us to live from hand to mouth, even if we have the ability and the skill to move on, simply because it offers us some sort of security?…i am not trying to disregard the fact that we need to be appreciative of how far we have come in life or of the fact that after the struggle and hustle, we finally got that darned bird! But we were never meant to live our lives in static. Life in its very essence is dynamic. CHANGE. Sometimes, change involves you letting go of one thing in order to have space and ability to embrace something better. And as inevitable as change is, it is still a choice; especially when it comes to the WHEN factor. Please understand, sometimes letting go of that bird to look for the two in the bush may be detrimental but life is a risk, one huge leap. How can we know what lies behind the door leading to the unknown unless we take the initiative to open it. Think about it. What if, instead of finding two birds in the bush you find four? Or find a big fat cow instead? I am just saying, we need to stop being afraid of our future and choose to take a leap or two when we need to. I have personally decided to embrace a quote that I have heard thrown around a lot. It’s a beautiful excerpt from the book ‘a return to love’ by Mariam Williamson and I hope it will open your eyes as much as it opened mine.

‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure

It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are we not be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you

We were all meant to shine, as children do

We were meant to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others.’

Men and nipples....

Whilst in the middle of watching one of the most well put together series that I have ever come across, the character stuffed with wit asked a question that genuinely seemed to perturb her mind. ‘Why do men have nipples?’ Somehow, this query resurfaced as the boyfriend and I drove around town. I looked to him, playfully curious to hear his answer, and wore the same face miss witty wore the night before and asked, child likely, ‘have you ever wondered why men have nipples?’ his eyes were obviously too busy trying to figure out a way to dodge the jam ahead, so he thought it was something I had probably been pondering on for way too long. As if to offer refreshment to my tired mind he said, ‘well, men are women’…he went on to give some scientific backing about how before the cells divide fully to form the genitalia, both the boy and the girl develop exactly alike or something to that effect…I was too busy thinking on this new found gold to pay any attention. Men are women. Calm down. This post is not some rant about equality or gender differences. This is me simply stating that men are women. Think about it. No, really think about it….and when you are done, feel free to offer suggestions on why you think men have nipples…go ahead and write a blog about it even. BUT while you google answers and add that question to some pre rehearsed trivia you would like to bring up as jest to the table of slurred speeches and unnecessarily loud laughter, remember, boy or girl ,woman or man, we are all ONE. Woman formed from man’s rib, man formed in woman’s womb. HUMAN. The egg and chicken cycle is running itself tired from people trying to find out which came first or which is more important instead of focusing on the fact that both of those make for amazing ingredients!

THOSE DAYS

We all have those days. Those, ‘I wish the world did not exist’ days. Those ‘please do not talk to me, I really really do not want to be bothered or even noticed today’ days. In a world where attention is a subtle high horse we all subconsciously seek to ride, we all have that one day when we wish the invisibility cloak was not a thing only created in an overly imaginative mind. Well, for most of us ladies, those days come more times in a year than we hope for…well, let’s be clearer, they come monthly. And some times, those days bring with them a brother or two to make you wish there was a way you could disappear twice .(I use ‘brother’ because for some reason, the main cause or target of our well-armed arsenals on those days are usually the opposite sex. If only there was such a thing as a ‘get a clue dude’ button you could press on their faces so they would quietly walk away when all you want to do is cuddle your teddy and watch that predictable telenovella in silence…or if they would buy chocolate and stack it up for those red winter days. yes honey, there is a likelihood that I will cry over nothing if we start talking about anything so please please let our language be chocolate!)

I have seen a couple of guys go through days like those. (luckily without the chocolate! Wait, do guys even like chocolate???) Some psychologists and relationship counselors tend to refer to this as guys recoiling into their ‘man cave’. I won’t lie; to this day, I still think that that is an overrated phenomenon…wait, phenomenon would make it seem as if it were something strange. Every guy I have ever known does it so let’s just refer to it as an overrated excuse. Well, I am a woman. And I would be lying if I told you I have the slightest idea how a guy feels when he wants nothing more than to recoil into a mental illusion of his primeval days. And as much as I would love to hold the mantle and speak for every human being born with enough estrogen to be biologically declared as a woman, I would be justly doing my gender an injustice by claiming to know exactly what every woman goes through.

All I know right now is I am definitely having one of those days. I know, i just wrote an entire page on menstruation and most of you didn’t even notice it. Well, clearly dysmenorrhea and everything that it brings is not enough to remind us every month that we are not pregnant(or sometimes that we missed our chance to be by a day or two) we have to have an overwhelming amount of depressing hormones added on to the mix! You know what’s weird though? I still love being a woman. Complexity never felt so beautiful…or looked so beautiful either…(I am fighting the urge to add a smiley face…what has language come to?!?!)