Wednesday, 15 October 2014
THE BAD BOY SYNDROME
Today at office a short lived debate began about the already tired topic on how the bad boy always seems to get the girl. Most of the blame was on the girl of course. You know, because ultimately women are not prey who are chased and caught by some predator. Women are human beings with working brains (or so they say) and ability to use the God given gift of free will. now, some of the ladies did highlight the fact that sometimes when in a relationship with a ‘bad boy’ you know what he is doing to you is wrong but you feel like you are under some spell you can’t get out of; there was some misuse of the cliché about love being blind.
The left side of my brain is dying to state how that is plain stupidity and give some logical explanation about how we subconsciously make up excuses to keep something in our lives, no matter how harmful it is to us because of a certain personal hollow we are desperately trying to fill. BUT experience defeats logic in this case because I have ever been one of those girls. I know what it feels like to believe that you have been cursed to love this terrible person and to think the universe is punishing you for that time that really nice guy asked you out but you didn’t say yes cause of peer pressure. But that should probably be a story for another day(hey look I just got another idea for the 7 day blog challenge) back to the topic; why do we fall for bad boys?
Now with the years of theoretical and a bit of practical psychology that I have been exposed to (oh, how modest of me) I know that one of the major reasons why we fall for bad boys is because we have one of two complexes. Either we have a mother complex (a mother will love her child no matter how evil he or she turns out to be) or the heroine complex, thinking we can save him. Truth is, most girls who get into relationships with bad boys (knowing very well who and what they are capable of) are just plain vain and egotistical. They carry around a false humility and tell themselves that if they love him enough and take his crap, he will love them back and change for them.
But someone did bring up another reason why we put our hands in the lion’s mouth and hope it doesn’t bite; because it looks cool. Most bad boys take a lot of time to ensure that they look ‘new and shiny’. And girls, like the inner leprachauns that we are, jump at the sight of new and shiny. Especially because of the attention it brings. Every girl at some point in her life has fed on attention.( even those who end up as loaners usually do that because they were probably denied attention at some point in their lives) we love the drama and the thrill that being with a bad boy brings; the endless stories that we will have for our girlfriends; the roller coaster ride that relationship is bound to be.
But truthfully, not all the credit can go to the ladies. I have met a good number of what we would generally categorize as a bad boy and I must say that most of these boys know how to play their game right. You know that trance like feeling I mentioned in the beginning? These guys know how to manipulate every fibre of their beings so that we are hypnotized by something as small as a well-timed and properly curved smile.
Oh, bad boys can be good. Quite good at what they do. But after all is said and done, girls really do get tired of the charades. And when they do, they find a good guy. So, even though the bad boys seem to get the girls at first, the good boys always finish last. And you know that adage about laughing last…..